( Portion of a note from the artist to a friend on the edge
but no matter how low your emotions may (quite justifiably) sink, DO NOT get self-destructive!
you must not.
suicide. is. murder.
ponder please how SURVIVAL is any creature's most basic instinct: throw a creature into deep water, it struggles to LIVE. try to smother any creature and it FIGHTS FOR IT'S LIFE.
to actually TRY to not-live is against all natural wiring.
and yet there ~families~ (and also some communities and schools) where suicide RUNS in the group.
how is that?
i mean really!
how. the. fcuk. is. that?
well, most people only consider non-normal activity --activity far, far outside the norm-- if they are exposed to an influence who shows the strange activity to actually be possible.
heck: why are outLANDish and dangerous careers (cop, soldier, circus performer, coroner, sandhog, gangsta, missionary, hooker, mortician) which are ~uncommon~ generally, CONCENTRATED in certain families ("we're a military family")?
well, because grandpa or uncle louie or aunt minnie or cousin bess did it --and then ~that~ influenced others in that quiet, subtle, and strong way that only family relations can do.
i've had to talk-down from self-destructive states a dear old friend who is a bit flaky, yes, and who has had official intervention to help with that. the poor lady got diagnosed with cancer and then got railroaded out of her job (which didn't want to support the substitute-needs of someone in cancer-treatment --or to cover that pricy healthcare insurance for a cancer patient) in the same year that also her troubled-genius single-parent daughter killed herself.
guess what? suicide "runs" in that family. bipolarism does too (i imagine there's a connection).
but since grandma killed HERself,
the unnatural-and-unthinkable ~became~ "the family business"
and thus became plausible to the young mom.
see how it works?
youngmom would never have gone into such a (human-nature-wise) strange, bizarre place --except for the influence of a family member who demonstrated that it actually ~could~ be an option.
the dead young mom's ~own~ mommy (my friend) of course wanted to "off" herself --because every parent who outlives a child has that response during the initial wrenching period of survivor-guilt, of course.
also though, with two (actually more --there were others in that family, but i can't recall all the connections just now) actual relatives who had done the unthinkable to THEMselves, the unthinkable became thinkable --hell, a FAMILY TRADITION at this point.
i feel the only thing that has sometimes kept my friend from continuing the family tradition has been my blatant reminders to her that: by following the family tradition, she is making the family tradition --a family tradition!
with a suicide, she is going to take her own grandson (or someone else) with her.
who? one never knows. but you are taking AT LEAST one other life with you.
i have reminded her that by killing herself she would be doing murder because she would CAUSE THE DEATH of someone else. someone: her grandkid, a neighbor, a coworker, a cousin, an aunt.
my friend has been to such depths of despair that she wanted to destroy herself.
yet, recalling that doing so would inspire others, she has refrained from stabbing her neck or driving into a wall or drinking a bottle of whiskey after taking 20 pills or hanging herself.
there should be a lifesaving medal available for anyone who gets to the edge of existence but then nobly CHOOSES to KEEP ON --to live on-- and endure for more days/weeks/months states of the lowest misery ONLY BECAUSE continuing to ~LIVE~ IN SPITE OF GRIEF gives (all family, coworkers, acquaintances, schoolmates, and friends) the EXAMPLE of endurance.
not: letting misery win and rule.
not: against all natural normality, ending the life of one's own self.
to endure the most grave suffering --and also to keep on enduring (if, for no other reason, than to just show to fellow loved ones that enduring is a possible way rather that showing that self-death is a realistic option) is the work of a suffering and hurt and noble HERO: a LIFE-SAVER.
besides, dear [name redacted], if you show others that a proper way to deal with great sadness is to kill yourself, well what am i to do when ~i~ feel similarly sad? what would my daughters do after seeing my example?
so, you see --i hope-- that you MUST ENDURE.
YOU. MUST. ENDURE.
(so that you don't take others with you in a self-destructive state.)
would you please promise me that, in spire of everything, to be an example to all the people you know --you will a least not off yourself? would you please make me that promise?
and that does not make "enduring" any easier. i know! i've been there myself. but still: would you please promise that?
but truly: SUICIDE IS MURDER.
likely it is murder of someone you love in your own family.
do you want that to be among your last living thoughts?
be strong, kiddo. be strong for those you love.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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